These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow
1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 4
0 pound weight gain in the past three days.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared
7.. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status:-A0A0A0A0 A0Alive, but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined,A0 x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she
got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran
out of fuel and crashed.
29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on
the abdomen and I agree.
32. The patient was to have a bowel resection.A0 However, he took a job as
a stock broker instead.
33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
you shall endure
i was at lara's the whole evening. it was nice. had dinner with her and laila. her brother akil, the cute little boy that i've known since i was 11 is now a big 'guitar hero' boy! he owns a les paul and he writes his own songs. beautiful songs. god, how time changed everything. haih!
after dinner, we went for teh tarik at berkat. it was nice. positive vibes. i like.
after dinner, we went for teh tarik at berkat. it was nice. positive vibes. i like.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Meatballs
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees.
The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies,
''Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins''.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees.
The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies,
''Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins''.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
A Strong Woman Needs A Strong Man
The Good Husband mentioned this blog yesterday. I went over and read the whole thing. It's new, so it didn't take long. There are many things I don't have in common with Lisa, but I found myself really seeing some of my own life in the post she called "Thoughts, part 3." (I'm sorry, but I can't seem to figure out how to link to that particular post. HTML-what?)
John and I do not have a marriage on the rocks or anything close to that. Nobody is cheating, emotionally or otherwise. We're close. We spend lots of time together and as a family. Our sex life is going strong and is greatly improved over recent years. We're getting our groove back as our little babies grow into little people. We're continuing to evolve and grow as we will be entering our 40's next year. But we're doing it together, and we will make it.
But I really related to what Lisa was saying about being a strong woman. I'm a strong woman, and I'm the stronger partner in just about every aspect of my marriage. Don't get me wrong. I am not a dictator. I'm not mean (well, not unless I'm tired and cranky anyway). And we do talk most things out together. But I run the house and I run our lives. I run the finances. I veto things that I don't like. For the most part, John goes along. It seems that the buck stops with me.
With power comes responsibility. I have to balance the checkbook, manage the budget, make investment decisions, make sure the house is stocked and everybody has everything that they need, make sure the health department will not come over and cite us for cleanliness violations, keep the laundry under control, etc. Many times I wish I did not have so much responsibility. Responsibility is not so much fun. Maybe all these things just seem like my housewifely duties. But it's more than that.
I control our sex life. If I'm not in the mood, it ain't gonna happen. John has little power to get me into the mood, although he can break the mood unintentionally in so many small ways. Lately we have tended to have showers at night since we've had so much nocturnal activity. Usually I shower while he bathes the kids in the tub. He likes to open the shower door and leer at me. A lot. Often. All the time. It might have been cute or sexy once or twice, but now I just find it annoying. Good grief. I just want to relax for a few minutes. Stop leering at me like a horny schoolboy. I hinted to him many times that it was starting to annoy me. Finally I snapped at him a couple of days ago.
Last night we were relaxing and watching "The Apprentice." He reached across the baby sleeping between us in the bed and kind of kneaded my shoulder. It felt like he was dumping a bucket of cold water over my head. Why not just put his hand on my shoulder? Why did he have to poke at me like that? I don't know why it was so annoying. Well maybe I do. It wasn't strong. It wasn't a confident husband placing his hand on me. It was the horny schoolboy poking at me. I got up and led us to our guestroom/"playroom," but after a couple minutes of kissing I knew it just was not going to work for me. So I pulled away and it was over.
I wish John had the power to put me in the mood, at least sometimes. I don't know. Maybe it's me. Maybe I would just never reliquish that control to anybody. Or maybe I would. I wish I could. I really wish I could.
Lisa also talked about the D/s blogs she has been reading. John and I got slightly intrigued by some of those ideas a few weeks ago. We even played around with spanking as detailed here. It was really fun a few times, but it isn't a regular part of what we do. It was more about being naughty, silly and fun than D/s. And the more we read about the real D/s world, the more we did not see ourselves there. John and I both agreed on that.
I don't want a man to dominate me. I don't want to be submissive. I want to be the strong woman that I am. I just want a strong man to stand beside me and take the load too. I want a full partner. We can both have our strengths and weaknesses and help each other. Just sometimes I want him to take care of me. I want to be able to curl up with him and feel feminine surrounded by his masculinity. I don't get enough of that.
John and I do not have a marriage on the rocks or anything close to that. Nobody is cheating, emotionally or otherwise. We're close. We spend lots of time together and as a family. Our sex life is going strong and is greatly improved over recent years. We're getting our groove back as our little babies grow into little people. We're continuing to evolve and grow as we will be entering our 40's next year. But we're doing it together, and we will make it.
But I really related to what Lisa was saying about being a strong woman. I'm a strong woman, and I'm the stronger partner in just about every aspect of my marriage. Don't get me wrong. I am not a dictator. I'm not mean (well, not unless I'm tired and cranky anyway). And we do talk most things out together. But I run the house and I run our lives. I run the finances. I veto things that I don't like. For the most part, John goes along. It seems that the buck stops with me.
With power comes responsibility. I have to balance the checkbook, manage the budget, make investment decisions, make sure the house is stocked and everybody has everything that they need, make sure the health department will not come over and cite us for cleanliness violations, keep the laundry under control, etc. Many times I wish I did not have so much responsibility. Responsibility is not so much fun. Maybe all these things just seem like my housewifely duties. But it's more than that.
I control our sex life. If I'm not in the mood, it ain't gonna happen. John has little power to get me into the mood, although he can break the mood unintentionally in so many small ways. Lately we have tended to have showers at night since we've had so much nocturnal activity. Usually I shower while he bathes the kids in the tub. He likes to open the shower door and leer at me. A lot. Often. All the time. It might have been cute or sexy once or twice, but now I just find it annoying. Good grief. I just want to relax for a few minutes. Stop leering at me like a horny schoolboy. I hinted to him many times that it was starting to annoy me. Finally I snapped at him a couple of days ago.
Last night we were relaxing and watching "The Apprentice." He reached across the baby sleeping between us in the bed and kind of kneaded my shoulder. It felt like he was dumping a bucket of cold water over my head. Why not just put his hand on my shoulder? Why did he have to poke at me like that? I don't know why it was so annoying. Well maybe I do. It wasn't strong. It wasn't a confident husband placing his hand on me. It was the horny schoolboy poking at me. I got up and led us to our guestroom/"playroom," but after a couple minutes of kissing I knew it just was not going to work for me. So I pulled away and it was over.
I wish John had the power to put me in the mood, at least sometimes. I don't know. Maybe it's me. Maybe I would just never reliquish that control to anybody. Or maybe I would. I wish I could. I really wish I could.
Lisa also talked about the D/s blogs she has been reading. John and I got slightly intrigued by some of those ideas a few weeks ago. We even played around with spanking as detailed here. It was really fun a few times, but it isn't a regular part of what we do. It was more about being naughty, silly and fun than D/s. And the more we read about the real D/s world, the more we did not see ourselves there. John and I both agreed on that.
I don't want a man to dominate me. I don't want to be submissive. I want to be the strong woman that I am. I just want a strong man to stand beside me and take the load too. I want a full partner. We can both have our strengths and weaknesses and help each other. Just sometimes I want him to take care of me. I want to be able to curl up with him and feel feminine surrounded by his masculinity. I don't get enough of that.
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